Symbols

Symbols are how we communicate, I love symbols. I love numbers and what those symbols can mean, I love the alphabets and what those symbols can do to communicate on so many different perspectives at once, I love images and pictures and oooooohhhh do I love the internet for carrying it all.

I love using random decks like tarot or my sacred geometry cards to play with symbols and the stories they tell. Allowing yourself to read a story while you are thinking of someone else takes practice because every story is always told from OUR perspective even if we are using someone else's voice to tell the story.

This afternoon, I drew 4 cards, and the story it told me was my own to share with her, my niece. First card, my life lesson card of the deck, card 22, eternity's dance, reminded me of my walk and journey. Next the #50 "Octahedron," a solid shape for her to use. Next, #3 card "Tzolkin," a simple time system that allows shifting of tym according to whichever system is being used. And, fourth, #25, "DNA," the place where my niece and I share some common ground.

To worry if life will end isn't a fear unless you would be alone and that scares you, and the truth is, even if you are alone, you should never be afraid to be alone, even if you don't like or even hate being alone, it shouldn't scare you.  Eventually, you will decide you no longer can/will be alone and you will surround yourself with people you like, who do not hurt you. That is important, creating safe space for yourself when you have had nothing but chaos in your childhood. And, it's ok if you need to be all alone to have that safe space.

As you get older and can decide who can and may not be in your personal space, do realize it becomes your choices, and your mom's friends may not be your's, and her family might just surprisingly be there for you if you keep trying.

Do understand this, listen carefully to the craziest things your mom says, they will make perfect sense one day, I promise.